💌Letters from the Soft Life: Why Am I Exhausted from the Soft Life?

Dear Liberian Jewels,

I traded in my grind culture membership for the soft life, thinking I’d be on a permanent vacation. No alarm clock, no rushing, no unnecessary people in my business. I pictured myself in silk robes with cucumber water, manifesting my dreams in peace.

But sis… I’m tired.

Not “I’ve been running the streets” tired, but a whole different kind of tired. I’m exhausted from saying “no” without feeling guilty. I’m drained from explaining to folks why I can’t “just stop by.” I’m mentally sore from holding my boundaries while people keep pushing them like they’re testing a fence.

Nobody warned me that the soft life starts out feeling like a part-time job. I’m working harder now to protect my peace than I ever did clocking in for somebody’s company. Please tell me this gets better.

— Peaceful but Puffy-Eyed

Dear Peaceful but Puffy-Eyed,

Oh, it gets better — but first, it gets uncomfortable.

The soft life isn’t just rest. It’s rehab from all the years you spent in survival mode. And like any good rehab, there’s an adjustment period where your body and mind are learning that “stillness” doesn’t mean “danger” and “quiet” doesn’t mean “lazy.” That’s the emotional boot camp you’re in right now.

Here’s the truth: protecting your peace is work. You’re filtering out people who only knew you in chaos, teaching your loved ones your new boundaries, and most importantly, teaching yourself to believe you deserve this peace. That’s why you’re tired — you’re unlearning and building at the same time.

So rest. Let the “No’s” stand without a follow-up explanation. Stop feeling like you have to prove you’re happy to earn your soft life badge. And remember: exhaustion from nurturing yourself is still better than exhaustion from neglecting yourself. One morning, you’ll wake up and realize you’re not just in the soft life — the soft life is in you.

Softly, — Liberian Jewels