Letters from the Soft Life: Is there really such a thing as “Dating Soft"?

Dear Liberian Jewels,

I started dating again after taking a break to work on myself, but whew — the streets are confusing. One minute it feels like love is blooming, the next it’s ghost-town silence.

Folks talk about “intentional dating,” but half the time I can’t even tell if we’re on the same page or just reading two completely different books. I’ve worked too hard on my healing to settle for chaos, but I don’t want to close myself off either. I’m trying to stay hopeful, but it’s hard not to feel like I’m wasting my time on people who don’t know what they want. 

Is there really such a thing as “dating soft,” or is it just another hustle with better outfits?

— Hopeful but Hesitant

Dear Hopeful but Hesitant,

Dating soft is real — but it starts with you, not them. When you date from a place of rest, you don’t chase; you choose. You don’t beg; you observe. You don’t audition; you allow. That’s the shift.

The streets may be noisy, but your peace doesn’t have to be. And here’s the beauty of dating soft: you don’t lose yourself in someone else’s confusion. You set the pace, you set the tone, and you leave the door open only for love that respects your healing.

Remember: the right love won’t make you question your worth. It’ll water the roots you’ve already planted. Until then, don’t confuse temporary shade for permanent sunlight.

Softly,

— Liberian Jewels