From Power Moves to Power Imbalances: A Love Check-In

By Dr. Wi Fine for The Blue Cafe Magazine

Let me go on and say this before somebody catches an attitude:
Success looks good on everybody — but it hits different when your partner’s rising and you feel like you’re sitting still.

Now, brothers, let’s talk.

A lot of men out here are finally getting in their groove. Promotions, side hustles turning into real businesses, healing their daddy wounds, and yes — even booking therapy appointments without waiting on a woman to suggest it. Growth is happening. And you should be proud of that.

But somewhere in that glow-up, you might notice your lady acting a little off.
Not hating. Not loud. Just… distant. Quick to critique. Slow to clap. You say you got a new contract and she say, “Must be nice.”

Here’s the truth, and I need you to hear it with love:
She’s not mad at your success. She’s mad at how it reminds her she’s not moving at the same pace.

This ain’t about ego, it’s about identity.

When people feel stuck, watching someone close to them thrive can feel like a mirror they didn’t ask to look into. And if they’re not careful, that mirror turns into a measuring stick. Suddenly, your joy feels like pressure. Your progress feels like a threat.

Now before y’all turn this into a gender war—don’t.
This happens in all kinds of partnerships. But men? You have a choice: You can defend yourself, or deepen the conversation.

You say you want to lead? Then lead with emotional intelligence.

Pull her closer, not away. Let her know that success isn't a solo act. That the same energy you use to chase your goals should also be used to water the relationship. Be the kind of man who brings his wins home—not to flaunt, but to build.

Because real leadership isn’t just about who gets to the top first.
It’s about who you refuse to leave behind.

And if you’re truly winning, but she feels like she’s losing, the scoreboard in your relationship is off—even if your bank account says otherwise.

So take a deep breath, celebrate your elevation, and then look beside you.
Ask yourself: Am I building something that includes both of us?

If the answer is yes, keep rising—and reach back.
Because love without ego? Now that’s the real bag.