Why Group Chats Are the Last Place to Heal

By Black.By.Nature for The Blue Cafe Magazine

Healing doesn’t happen in a space with 17 unread messages, five conversations at once, and somebody randomly posting a flyer to a brunch nobody’s really going to. As much as we love the chaos and comfort of the mass group chat, let’s be honest: it’s not the place to figure yourself out.

We’ve made the group chat the new confession booth. It’s where we drop our breakups, our bad decisions, our boundaries being tested—and we wait for the chorus of “girl, same,” “block him,” and “you better than me.” It feels good in the moment. Familiar. Affirming. Safe. But healing needs more than reactions. Healing needs reflection. And you can’t reflect in a space where people are multitasking your pain between memes and hot takes.

The group chat wasn’t built to hold the weight of your growth. It was built to bounce energy, throw shade, and pass time during work hours. That’s not a bad thing—but don’t give it a job it wasn’t hired for. Sometimes we confuse being heard with being healed. Just because your story gets attention, doesn’t mean it’s being nurtured.

There’s a version of you that’s waiting to emerge—but she needs silence, not screenshot energy. She needs rest, not receipts. She needs truth, not ten opinions telling her what they’d do if it was them (but it’s not). Mass conversations will have you doubting your own voice and deferring your own choices.