💌 Letters from the Soft Life: Is It Growth or Am I Just Avoiding Everybody?

Dear Liberian Jewels, 

Hey sis! So I just deep-cleaned my whole apartment, lit my favorite candle, poured a mocktail in a wine glass, and put on a face mask… and for the first time in weeks, I felt alive. I mean, like real dopamine hit, music bumpin’, “maybe I’ll text somebody back today” type of joy.

But here’s my thing — I only feel good when I’m alone. The second someone says, “Let’s catch up,” my spirit retreats like, girl, why would you ruin this peace with social interaction? I tell people I’m busy — and technically I am… busy creating scenarios in my head where I avoid vulnerability in cute loungewear.

I say I’m growing. I post I’m glowing. But honestly? I might just be dodging intimacy and calling it wellness.

So tell me: is this healing… or just high-functioning avoidance dressed up in eucalyptus oil?

Sincerely,
Dopamine Dani
(Feeling good, but still ghostin’)

Response from Liberian Jewels: 

Hey Dopamine Dani,

First off, you had me at “mocktail in a wine glass.” That’s healing energy right there.

But here’s what I’ll say: sometimes we confuse feeling safe with feeling alive. Dopamine hits are cute — the clean apartment, the candles, the playlists — they matter. They tell your nervous system “you’re good now.” But joy? Real joy? It’s often found in connection, in moments that surprise you, stretch you, and remind you you’re not on this journey alone.

There’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace — just don’t let it turn into a perfectly curated bubble you never let anyone enter. Growth isn’t just cutting people off — it’s learning how to let the right ones in.

Go text that person back. Not because you have to. But because the new you deserves community too.

Softly,
Liberian Jewels 
Letters from the Soft Life – The Blue Café Magazine