💌 Letters from the Soft Life: I’m Not the Strong Friend Anymore—and That’s Okay

Letting go of the role of fixer, counselor, and emotional mule for everyone else.

Dear Liberian Jewels,

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the one everyone leans on. The shoulder to cry on. The person who listens without judgment. The friend who always has the advice. The fixer.

I thought that’s what love looked like—being strong for everybody else, even when I felt like I was breaking inside.

But here’s the truth: I’m tired. Bone-deep tired.

I realized that always being the strong one doesn’t make me invincible. It just means I’m carrying other people’s burdens on top of my own.

For years, I never let anyone see me vulnerable. I was scared that if I did, they’d stop needing me or worse, they’d leave.

Last month, during a particularly hard week, I broke down in front of a friend. I let her see all the exhaustion and pain I’d been hiding.

And something changed.

She didn’t run away. She held me. She reminded me that I’m human, not a superhero.

Since then, I’ve started saying no when I need to. I’m asking for help. I’m letting people support me instead of always being the support system.

It’s scary to be soft when you’ve spent so long being strong. But I’m learning that real strength is in showing up as your full self—including the messy parts.

I’m not the strong friend anymore, and that’s okay.

Thank you for creating space for us to be real, Liberian Jewels. Your words remind me that soft is powerful.

Softly,
– Layla, 42